Friday, May 13, 2016
This week Elizabeth came home and recounted a lunch time conversation that she had at school. It was so preposterous that I can't shake it. She told me that 2 girls that she sat next to during lunch told her, that if she continued to eat a turkey/salami/cheese sandwich, that also had mayo (gasp) she was going to get fat. Yes, folks she was told at seven by other seven years olds, that eating her sandwich daily was going to make her FAT. They recommended to her that she eat salad and chicken, because that doesn't make you fat. Seriously? Is this what it is coming to? Body shaming starts in the first grade. I was shocked and saddened.
This is something that I have personally struggled with as long as I can remember. I remember vividly comparing myself to the models on Seventeen magazine. I did the thigh master religiously. I snuck diet pills. I look back at those pictures of myself now, and think "what in the hell was wrong with you"?? "You were not fat, you had a perfectly normal body, dare I say beautiful"? Being 5'8 made me not petite and therefore in my eyes fat. Oh how stupid I was...
It ( body image) was at the top of my list of things I wanted to be different for my girls. So much so, we have NEVER EVER uttered the word fat in front of the girls. Even as I continue to struggle with my own personal body image issues, I never speak about my self-conscious thoughts in front of them. They listen to EVERYTHING, they hear EVERYTHING. Instead we talk about being healthy. We discuss that we need to try new foods, fruits and vegetables included. We do have the fun treats, but we do so in moderation, because too much of anything is not good for you. We talk about the need for exercise to keep you HEALTHY. That is the word I try to use, healthy. Not fat. Not skinny. Not strong. Not weak. Healthy. Our goal is to make good choices and keep our mind and body healthy.
I am lucky that I am raising self confident girls that trust me, themselves and communicate well. First, she recognized that she was not going to get fat and promptly told the other girls, eating her sandwich was not going to make her fat. Second, she came home and openly spoke to me and asked questions. I am lucky, but it may not be like that for every little girl. So where does that leave us? It leaves us with seven year old girls being afraid that eating their lunch will make them fat and I for one am not okay with that.
What is the answer? I don't know and I am ticked! I think communication and raising self confident little girls is key. Teaching them beauty comes in all shapes and sizes is a must. Making good choices is a must. Realizing their own self worth is a MUST. Making healthy choices is key. Building each other up instead of tearing each other down is a MUST.
This is a conversation I wish we didn't have to have but we do. Maybe that is where we start. A open, honest conversation.