Last night I had one of those wake up calls as a parent that you really don't want to get but maybe need. It had been one of those days that started at 2am with a kid puking (awesome way to start the day)! So I had the younger girls home with me all day. I decided to take advantage of being housebound and cleaned out several closets. The girls were either best friends or sworn enemies, mostly the latter of the two. Needless to say there was a lot of yelling, whining and refereeing throughout the day. Matters did not improve when the oldest came home, it just got louder!
Everyone has these days during the week. Rush rush rush, clean, cook, moderate, chauffeur. It is complete chaos. Some days are easier than others. Some days tempers and irritability are running at all time highs.
After dinner, things actually begin to settle somewhat, still extremely loud and rambunctious but controlled. I was washing the dishes, Ebeth and Abbie were chasing each other around the living room and Sydney was having her treat at the table. All of a sudden I heard a very strange sound coming from Sydney. She was clearly choking but at this point still getting air. I ran over to her, she was panicked and bright red. I pounded her back between the shoulder blades first, then no sound was coming from her. She was trying to inhale and couldn't So I am quickly trying to remove her from the chair and she is fighting me because she is terrified and trying fix this herself. I knew I was going to have to do the Heimlich on her and tried to quickly let her know mommy is trying to help. Attempting to do the Heimlich on a terrified 3 year old who cannot breathe correctly is like wrestling an extremely pissed off bear. At this point Ebeth has realized something is really wrong, I can hear her say we should call 911, but I don't have time to explain we don't have time. Nothing happened after the first push, I tried to crack her on the the back again, still nothing. I am one of those people who is good in a crisis, I can remain calm during and stay focused and then afterwards, have my little meltdown. When she still couldn't breathe after the first push and pound on the back, my brain went into complete overdrive. First thought, how long do I have? Answer, not long. Second thought. What if I can't do this? Answer, not an option. Keep trying. The second time I pushed she coughed then gagged then screamed louder than all get out and I have never in my life been happier to hear that sound. This whole episode took probably less than one minute and yet it felt as if time was standing still.
After I made sure she was ok and the crying stopped we all went to sit together on the couch. This is when I started recapping the day and previous days in my mind. How many times did I snap at her that day? How many times in the last few days or weeks have I been asked to play a game, have a tea party, cuddle on the couch, color? And how many times was my response, I can't right now. I was either cleaning or on the phone or doing dishes or laundry or cooking.
Yes, all of the aforementioned items must be done but they are not as important as we make them out to be in our heads. Does it really matter, if the house is vacuumed? or a dish is sitting in the sink? Or laundry is sitting in a basket? No it doesn't! The answer is so plain and simple nothing is more important than your family and your kids.
In this day and age we hold ourselves to unrealistic expectations because of things like Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest. Life is not picture perfect. It is messy, it is chaotic it is full of ups and downs. That is why we have family and friends to help us get through. They don't care if you baked the perfect cookie or if your house is spotless! I am very guilty of falling into all of those traps. So maybe I needed that slap in the face. Now is the time for that cuddle and the tea party because in a blink of an eye, this stage will be over. I don't want to be doing the dishes when that happens..