Friday, September 15, 2017

The Most Important Task


First let me say, before I get started, this post may (most definitely will) contain profanity. I do not wish to offend anyone, so there is my warning. Continue at your own risk.

I had an epiphany the other day. As parents we are constantly aware of the awesome and daunting responsibility that is given to us to raise another human being. It is our job to keep them safe, educate them, feed them, bathe them ( a least a few times a week). Then something dawned on me. As the girls were running around like a bunch of banshees antagonizing each other about the stupidest possible things. I realized our biggest responsibility is to make sure  that our kids don't grow up to be assholes. I mean really and I am sorry for this but I can think of no better word to describe kids behavior (even the really good ones) at least some of the time.  I've come to the conclusion that it is just something that comes natural to kids and it is our job to correct it before we set them free into the world.

It was like the curtain was lifted and the Wizard was revealed to me. I look back on so so so many examples of what can only be described as asshole behavior demonstrated for no other reason other than to royally piss someone else off and then get a kick out of it.

Just a few examples and my guess is these are pretty common.  One of the favorites in our house, when one of them announces they are going to play with a toy. Upon hearing that desire a child closer to the toy grabs it and runs saying " I'm playing with it, I had it first"! Yep assholeitis at its finest. When they are coloring and one takes the crayon the other announced they were just looking for. Asshole. When getting ready to sit down at the table. One will say "I'm sitting next to mommy". Only to be hip checked or plowed over by someone who was in a completely different room but heard the declaration and decided it was their God given duty to thwart it. Asshole. When playing outside and someone announces I'm going to swing now, the kid on the slide moves faster then the speed of light and hops on the swing. Asshole.

The examples are endless and mind boggling. I don't know why they do it. They only do it to each other, so on some level they completely and totally understand that the behavior is wrong. Other than them not listening this is the most frustrating role as a parent, to constantly correct the asshole behavior. It's not like you can just say "hey kid you are being a real asshole and I'm going to need you to knock it off pronto". No that would be waaaay to easy. This is where our most important task comes in. It is a constant discussion of, why did you do that? How would you feel if someone did that to you? Was the the right thing to do, and tell me why not? It is making them understand the consequences of their actions and how their behavior makes someone else feel.

If we do this the right way, right now. We have a chance of raising kids who will NOT grow up to do things like: see someone put their turn signal on and speed up just so the person can't merge. Who will not cut in line. Who will not sneak in and take the parking space from someone who is already waiting. Who will not talk on their cell phones in the loudest possible voice in doctor's offices, trains or in public in general. Who will stop and hold doors for people. Who will say please and thank you to everyone. Who will let someone go ahead of them or stop to let someone out in traffic.

So I will take my duty of eradicating the world of assholes to heart and do the very best I can do.  I know you will too, May the Force Be With You. Lord knows we need all the help we can get.


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